2013: Bombshell. Marathon. Pen Pals.
Why do I have so much self-esteem? I work at it.

2 Years, 5 Months After Weight Loss Surgery

I have friends now who have never seen me at my heaviest, or even close to it. They don't know me as a formerly very fat person, only as I am right now. For the people who have known me longer, my struggle with weight loss was so very visible, as was my success.

I'm almost done. That's a scary thought.

120 Pounds Gone

With weight loss surgery, you get two years tops of weight loss benefit. After that, you have to try twice as hard to lose weight half as quickly. In just under two years, I lost 120 lbs. I went from 296 to 176. For the past six months, I have been maintaining my weight between 176 and 169. (Side note: I've been at 169 once before, when I was 24. I've never weighed less than that as an adult.) I wasn't trying to maintain, but I didn't realize that I needed to change my behavior again in order to keep losing weight.

1000 Calories Is Not a Lot

I have an end goal in mind. I'm not there yet. I need to work much harder than I have been to get there. Since I had logged onto Livestrong to get that weight chart, I decided to track my food today. I was SHOCKED to see that in order to lose 2 lbs/week, I should be consuming an 1100 cal/day diet. At my highest weight, to lose 2 lbs/day, I could consume twice that amount. It takes fewer calories to keep this smaller body running. I don't even know what an 1100 calorie day looks like. Not really. I need to diligently track my food intake again until I get a handle on it. I consumed 1300 calories today, and exercised a little. I only took half of my supplements, but I had 109g of protein. Tracking what I eat does more than help me lose weight, it makes me focus on nutrition.

Bombshell Unfinished

At the beginning of the year, one of the three words I chose to help me reach my goals was "Bombshell." I thought that focusing on my looks (because I am oh so vain) would keep me on track with weight loss. I was able to stick with what I'd been doing for two years, but I didn't realize that I needed a new plan. I know it now.

There's another piece to this body puzzle -- a few extra pieces that don't belong. An unpleasant byproduct of massive weight loss is extra skin. Oh, the skin. My arms look twice the width they are because half of that is skin. Naked, the rest of my body looks like a melted candle. And, I hate when I talk about this to someone with a mom belly or chubby arms, because she says, "Wear a tank top if you want to wear a tank top," or, "I have a pooch, too." It's not the same thing. This is not normal wear and tear. I can hide it with foundation garments and clothes, but until I have this extra skin surgically removed, I am going to feel like I am unfinished.

I plan to have three procedures done in two separate sessions. I am hoping to have the first two surgeries in August, and the third in November or December. I'd like to schedule them around school vacations so that my aunt (a teacher) will be available (hopefully) to help care for my kids during the hardest part of the recovery. I'm waiting until August, so I can fill this skin with more muscle and lose more fat.

Now for Some Pictures


This picture was taken at my highest weight, in 2009.

Before 296lbs


This picture was taken within the past month.




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