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Unbreakable

What doesn't kill me makes me awesomeI don't think I'm invincible, but I do think I'm unbreakable. I believe, with every ounce of my being, that there is nothing in this world that can happen to me from which I won't recover, emotionally. Nothing.

I consider all possibilities. What is the worst thing that can happen? How would I deal with it? I have the answers to those questions and, whether or not I am right, having thought about it gives me the strength to get through it. It's not morbid to think about those things. I am realistic and I know that the worst thing to happen isn't the likely thing to happen, but I want to be prepared. Loss of limb? Death of my spouse or my child or my sister? Loss of sight or hearing? Chronic or terminal disease? Loss of all of my worldly possessions? I've considered them all. I will be distraught if (when) one of those things comes to pass, but I will not be destroyed. One day, many days ahead, I will emerge on the other side.

Last year was the worst year of my life. At the low point of the worst year of my life, my mom was killed in a car accident. It was already bad before that, and it was worse after. 2010 was my nemesis, kicking me when I was down, throwing salt in my wounds, kneeling on my chest every time I tried to stand up. I don't believe that time heals all, but I know that every situation is temporary. My mom is never coming back -- that is permanent -- but every day since she died is a day that I lived, a day that has passed, a day that will never come again. Everything changes, and if I can continue to think, and act, and breathe, and be myself, then I can survive any situation. I may be changed, but I will also be whole, unbroken.

This life is the only one I get and I will never give up on myself.

Comments

blaugra

I love how you tagged this "narcissism."

Meanwhile, I appreciate this post. Inspiring words from a resiliently strong woman.

KtP

Once again proving how different we are, and yet, I admire you so. (Also, you've inspired an upcoming post. Mind if I link to this one?)

Peeved Michelle

Of course not.

Dean

Thanks for sharing this. Its a completely different perspective than I had when it comes to defining broken. I have been dealing with anxiety that is nearly debilitating at times. I think a lot of it was based on my nemisis year, 2008... but unlike you, I felt broken and actually believed I needed to be put back together. My anxiety centers around me NOT breaking again.. but if I looked at it as not broken, the outcome would have been different. That mind set I had was not a helpful one. I am not broken, even if its temporary brain chemistry.

Inspiring. Thanks

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