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Socialized Medicine

A Way Out of Spinsterhood

Joanne asks:

In your opinion, what is the one thing a gal can do to help her out of her spinsterhood?

Honestly, I think the easiest way to get out of spinsterhood is to become more attractive. It sucks, but it's true. If you are single, particularly if you are single and over 30, your pool of potential mates is diminishing exponentially with each year that passes. It's simple math. You find potential mates by dating. Attractive people get more dates than unattractive people and, therefore, have a greater chance of finding future mates.

Of course you want someone who will love you for who you are on the inside, regardless of what you look like on the outside, but it is easier to reel them in and keep them around long enough to see the inside if the outside is easy on the eyes.

I suggest you do what I did. Lose weight, wear make-up, style your hair every day, meet a good man using online personals, fall in love, gain the weight back*, live happily ever after.

Second Opinion

You don't need to consult someone else for a second opinion - I have those, too. You should let your friends set you up on blind dates more. You should get friends who will be good at this.

*Gaining the weight back is an optional step.

Comments

KtP

Loving the new blog...also, did you really meet Bubba via personals? And did I know that before?

jo

Sad for me then. I think you're right, but it isn't something I'm going to do. I've read enough "Dear Whomever" ads where the guys are writing in all pissy because their women gained weight after they reached xyz point and now they aren't attractive to the guys anymore. Although I could make the effort on the other stuff. A bun isn't a style? :)

Peeved Michelle

Yes, I really did, way back in 1999 when it had a much bigger stigma attached to it.

Deandrea

I agree with making your self more attraractive by wearing makeup and stuff, but I agree, Jo, that losing weight sometimes isn't the best idea if you are *only* doing it to get a man. I'd rather start off the relationship fat, and then perhaps lose weight because of health reasons, then to try to maintain something...and if he met me when I was fat, he can NEVER complain! I'm at the point where 10-15 pounds doesn't really make that much of a difference.

Peeved Michelle

To clarify, I didn't lose weight in order to meet a man, but I don't think it was a coincidence that I started dating a LOT more once I did.

Piglet

this is a very funny and logical response, and i could not agree with you more.

i tend to lose weight in between relationships due to the fact that i begin taking better care of myself. men joke about this and wonder why it happens.

once i started sorting out some of my "issues" (i do hate that word) the weight just went away all. by. itself. i kid you not.

it did come back tho, and i am working on new "issues", hopefully i'm on the track for the weight to leave again.

Rachel

I've got an extra 40 pounds and my boyfriend loves my body! I did, however, lose about 7 pounds in the first couple of weeks that we dated because of relationship anxieties (based on past experiences). Anyway, I think the difference this time around is that I've gotten better at dressing less frumpily and wearing sexier (not sluttier, necessarily) clothes has made me FEEL sexier and that was attractive even though I've got curves where there shouldn't necessarily be curves. Half of sexiness is attitude and confidence, and you can get a boost just by "dolling up" without dropping weight.

SFChick74

I've been trying to pretend that I don't want to be coupled and instead change my focus to becoming filthy rich or just plain rich, whichever comes first.

bettyagnes

I love this sentence:

"You don't need to consult someone else for a second opinion - I have those, too."

blaugra

another opinion - it's not necessarily about makeup and skinniness - it's just confidence and healthy energy and a sense of fun.

mtlm

Joanne,

You are so nice that I don't know why you haven't found anyone yet other than your hermitude. I think you mentioned trying to do something about that. Is this where the online dating started?

I totally agree with the makeover idea. It's not that you are lying you are just making the packaging more noticeable so that the dumb males will take a look at what's inside.

Marie

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